Smile My Heart,Smile~Louise c. Fryer

Smile My Heart Smile ©2012 Louise c. Fryer















Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Friday, December 24, 2021

Another Kind of Christmas: Close to the Earth

Gaza mother and child ZoriahWoman and Child - Refugee Camp, Gaza City © Zoriah/www.zoriah.com
Note from the Photographer: A woman holds a child in Gaza City's Beach Camp, one of the world's longest-standing refugee camps. The poverty in such areas often makes you feel as if you have taken a step back in time.

And so it was that while they were there, 
the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him

in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger;
because there was no room for them in the inn.
Luke 2: 6-7 KJV

May the God of your Soul give you peace in this Season of Brotherhood and May Angels walk with you into the New Year.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Spirit of Christmas ~ Haiku My Heart

The Spirit of Christmas©2011 Thomas HawkThe Spirit of Christmas – Alameda CA  (some rights reserved)
The Soft Glow of Lights
The Scent of Sweet Pine Branches
The Warmth of Friendship.
-Noelle Renee
Linked with Rebecca’s Blog at Recuerda mi Corazon
~~
About the Photographer
Thomas Hawk Sometimes I like to think of myself as a photography factory. I see my photographs mostly as raw material for projects that might be worked on at some point later on in life. When I'm not taking or processing the pictures I'm mostly thinking about the pictures. I'm trying to publish a library of 1,000,000 finished, processed photographs before I die. The absurdity of my obsessive compulsive view on photography is not lost on me. But it is the absurdity of life that I find most beautiful of all. Where Sisyphus had his stone I have my camera and a bag full of lenses. Most of my images are Creative Commons licensed, non commercial with attribution.  If you'd like to use any CC licensed images for non commercial or personal purposes feel free.  If you'd like to use any of my images commercially, please contact me. "Don't think about making art. Just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they're deciding, make even more art." - Andy Warhol









Friday, June 14, 2013

Father's Day: The Gift ~ Li-Young Lee

hands 3


To pull the metal splinter from my palm
my father recited a story in a low voice.
I watched his lovely face and not the blade.
Before the story ended, he’d removed
the iron sliver I thought I’d die from.

Kerekes Hands


I can’t remember the tale,
but hear his voice still, a well
of dark water, a prayer.
And I recall his hands,
two measures of tenderness
he laid against my face,
the flames of discipline
he raised above my head.

erzelem xDSC_0065-02 Kerekes


Had you entered that afternoon
you would have thought you saw a man
planting something in a boy’s palm,
a silver tear, a tiny flame.
Had you followed that boy
you would have arrived here,
where I bend over my wife’s right hand.

Blue Gold Nicolas Evariste

Look how I shave her thumbnail down
so carefully she feels no pain.
Watch as I lift the splinter out.

DSC_0158-01

I was seven when my father
took my hand like this,
and I did not hold that shard
between my fingers and think,
Metal that will bury me,
christen it Little Assassin,
Ore Going Deep for My Heart.
And I did not lift up my wound and cry,
Death visited here!

560645_467120869969627_1409366501_n© 2012 Istvan Kerekes 

I did what a child does
when he’s given something to keep.
I kissed my father.
Li-Young Lee, “The Gift” from Rose. Copyright ©1986 by Li-Young Lee.

About Istvan Kerekes

Photographer
In His Own Words
I have been a photographer since 2007. My favourite subject is The Man. I would like to show the souls behind the faces. Everyone has feelings, everybody loves and breathes. My subjects are usually ordinary people. My main aim is to show their personalities through my images. One of William Albert Allard’s thoughts on photos and photography is just like mine, I truly believe in it: “the good portrait is about the eye, the look, since the human soul is reflected in it the most purely.”When taking photos it is my heart that leads me. After I have tuned to the subject I act instinctively.
Istvan’s website: http://www.kerekesistvan.hu/
*Copyrighted images are posted with kind permission of the photographer.



































Saturday, March 30, 2013

Heartbeat

 

575743_438718379547136_369268963_n

©2013 Louise Fryer ~ Heartbeat

“Memory was that woman on the train. Insane in the way she sifted through dark things in a closet and emerged with the most unlikely ones - a fleeting look, a feeling. The smell of smoke. A windscreen wiper. A mother's marble eyes. Quite sane in the way she left huge tracts of darkness veiled. Unremembered.”
Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

Thursday, February 21, 2013

In One Kiss

An American Wedding by Thomas Hawk November 12, 2010
“A man had given all other bliss,
And all his worldly worth for this
To waste his whole heart in one kiss
Upon her perfect lips.”

― Alfred Tennyson

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A Boy and His Dog

598787_530092590339121_892027152_n©2013 Istvan Kerekes  posted with kind permission

 Boy and His Dog
Edgar Guest


A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:
No better friendship is found anywhere,
For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,
And they have their deep secrets for many a day;
And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,
May revel in mud and his dog will not care;
Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command
And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;
Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,
Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;
He's proof against riches and station and pride;
Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath
Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;
He sees the great soul which the body conceals--
Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!


About the Photographer

Istvan Kerekes

In His Own Words

I have been a photographer since 2007. My favourite subject is The Man. I would like to show the souls behind the faces. Everyone has feelings, everybody loves and breathes. My subjects are usually ordinary people. My main aim is to show their personalities through my images. One of William Albert Allard’s thoughts on photos and photography is just like mine, I truly believe in it: “the good portrait is about the eye, the look, since the human soul is reflected in it the most purely.”When taking photos it is my heart that leads me. After I have tuned to the subject I act instinctively.

~Istvan Kerekes

Istvan’s website: http://www.kerekesistvan.hu/

*Copyrighted images are posted with kind permission of the photographer.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Last Supper

Kerekes- Boy's last supperPortrait ©2012 Istvan Kerekes with kind permission

Here they are gathered, wondering and deranged,
Round Him, who wisely doth Himself inclose,
And who now takes Himself away, estranged,
From those who owned Him once, and past them
flows.

He feels the ancient loneliness to-day
That taught Him all His deepest acts of love;
Now in the olive groves He soon will rove,
And these who love Him all will flee away.
To the last supper table He hath led.

As birds are frightened from a garden-bed
By shots, so He their hands forth from the bread
Doth frighten by His word: to Him they flee;
Then flutter round the table in their fright
And seek a passage from the hall. But He
Is everywhere, like dusk at fall of night.

                     ~Rainer Maria Rilke

About the Photographer

Istvan Kerekes

I have been a photographer since 2007. My favourite subject is The Man. I would like to show the souls behind the faces. Everyone has feelings, everybody loves and breathes. My subjects are usually ordinary people. My main aim is to show their personalities through my images. One of William Albert Allard’s thoughts on photos and photography is just like mine, I truly believe in it: “The good portrait is about the eye, the look, since the human soul is reflected in it the most purely.”When taking photos it is my heart that leads me. After I have tuned to the subject I act instinctively.

~Istvan Kerekes

Istvan’s website: http://www.kerekesistvan.hu/

*Copyrighted images are posted with kind permission of the photographer.

Linked to Postcards from Paradise at Recuerda mi Corazon

Sunday, February 26, 2012

What is Supposed to Happen

Laura by Istvan Kerekes 2012©2012 Istvan Kerekes

When you were small,
we watched you sleeping,
waves of breath
filling your chest
.

Laura and Istvan Kerekes 2012©2012 Istvan Kerekes

Sometimes we hid behind
the wall of baby, soft cradle
of baby needs.
I loved carrying you between
my own body and the world.

Laura Kerekes 4 by Istvan Kerekes 2012©2012 Istvan Kerekes

Now you are sharpening pencils,
entering the forest of
lunch boxes, little desks.

CurlyGirl Laura by Istvan Kerekes©2012 Istvan Kerekes

People I never saw before
call out your name
and you wave.

Laura 3 peeking Istvan Kerekes©2012 Istvan Kerekes

This loss I feel,
this shrinking,
as your field of roses
grows and grows…

Laura 2 by Istvan Kerekes 2012©2012 Istvan Kerekes

Now I understand history.
Now I understand my mother’s
ancient eyes.

~”What is Supposed to Happen”

by Naomi Shihab Nye

linked to Postcards from Paradise at Recuerda mi Corazon. Please visit rebecca’s blog to see other lovely postcards!

 

About the Photographer

Istvan Kerekes

In His Own Words

I have been a photographer since 2007. My favourite subject is The Man. I would like to show the souls behind the faces. Everyone has feelings, everybody loves and breathes. My subjects are usually ordinary people. My main aim is to show their personalities through my images. One of William Albert Allard’s thoughts on photos and photography is just like mine, I truly believe in it: “the good portrait is about the eye, the look, since the human soul is reflected in it the most purely.”When taking photos it is my heart that leads me. After I have tuned to the subject I act instinctively.

~Istvan Kerekes

Istvan’s website: http://www.kerekesistvan.hu/

*Copyrighted images are posted with kind permission of the photographer.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

The One who is Rightfully Yours

 

395644_347235735307219_217423138288480_1146236_1306190016_nConvent Garden 2012 © Louise Fryer

The True Love

There's a faith in loving fiercely the one who is rightfully yours
especially if you have waited years and especially if part of you never
believed you could deserve this loved and beckoning hand held
out to you this way.

smile my heart smileSmile my heart~Smile © Louise Fryer

I am thinking of faith now and the testaments of loneliness
and what we feel we are worthy of in this world.
Years ago in the Hebrides I remember an old man
who would walk every morning on the gray stones
to the shore of baying seals, who would press his
hat to his chest in the blustering salt wind and say his
prayer to the turbulent Jesus hidden in the waters.

401020_331627943534665_217423138288480_1109225_1811764252_n2012©Louise Fryer

And I think of the story of the storm and the people
waking and seeing the distant, yet familiar figure,
far across the water calling to them.
And how we are all preparing for that abrupt waking
and that calling and that moment when we have to say yes!
Except it will not come so grandly, so biblically,
but more subtly, and intimately in the face
of the one you know you have to love.
So that when we finally step out of the boat
toward them we find, everything holds us,
and everything confirms our courage.

396318_324872810876845_217423138288480_1092613_1645148406_n (1)Splash © 2012 Louise Fryer

And if you wanted to drown, you could,
But you don't, because finally, after all
this struggle and all these years,
you don't want to anymore.
You've simply had enough of drowning
and you want to live, and you want to love.

I'll find you there FryerI’ll Find You There ©2012 Louise Fryer

And you'll walk across any territory,
and any darkness, however fluid,
and however dangerous

Bruges 2011 FryerBruges 2011 © 2011 Louise Fryer

to take the one
hand and the one life, you know belongs in yours.

~ David Whyte ~

 

linked to Recuerda mi corazon postcards from paradise

 

Photographer Profile: Louise Fryer

I first got into photography in May 2009, after spending some time experimenting in various different areas I found the subject that interested me the most was street photography. It is since January 2011 that I have been seriously concentrating on this area. I focus mainly on street portraiture, I try to capture sensitivity and feeling in my photographs. My inspiration comes from the people I see, my own empathy and feelings towards them. I feel a connection with some of the people I photograph due to my work and my life experiences.

“I see in black & white, colours just complicate things.” ~ Louise Fryer

Louise Hails from London and is a contributor to Shoot the Streets established to promote the art of street photography and increase the exposure of the many talented, and often unknown street photographers who live, breath and shoot the streets.

All photos are copyrighted and permission to use them was generously granted by Louise Fryer. All Rights Reserved.

Note: You may find Louise Fryer’s phenomenal Street Photography on at the following url’s: https://www.facebook.com/StreetPortraits and http://louisefryer.tumblr.com/;google+; and shoot the street.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A Kiss is Still a Kiss…

from Trey Ratcliff at www.stuckincustoms.com

A Gentle Kiss in the Hot tub (Snow Monkeys) © 2011 Trey Ratcliff

Young lovers wisely say,

“Let’s try it from this angle,
Maybe something marvelous will happen,

Maybe three suns and two moons
Will roll out
From a hiding place in the body
Our passion has yet to ignite.”

Old lovers say,
“We can do it one more time,
How about from this longitude
And latitude –

Swinging from a rope tied to the ceiling,

Maybe a part of God
Is still hiding in a corner of your heart
Our devotion has yet to reveal.”

Bottom line:

Do not stop playing
These beautiful
Love
Games.

(“The Gift” – versions of Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

About the Photographer

Trey Ratcliff

These snow monkeys are the greatest. I spent a...
... long time with them... It was very cold, and I almost got in this hotspring with them. They are all wild, and they come down from the mountains near Nagano, Japan, for several hours a day to play in the natural hot springs. They gallivant around, have fights, play with their kids, have a bit of sweet carnal monkey fun, check their email, and pose for my camera. These two monkeys spent a lot of time together... they were in maximum "relaxation mode." They lounged around in every possible position and took occasional breaks to do a bit of mutual grooming.

BRIEFLY… A PHOTOGRAPHY-CENTRIC BIO

I’m best known for, well, I suppose, this site, StuckInCustoms.com, which has become the #1 Travel Photography Blog on the internet. On average, the photos get over a million views a week, including a few from my mom. My work first became popular after I had the honor of having the first HDR photo ever to hang in the Smithsonian. After that, I was fortunate enough to be represented by Getty (who I have since dumped because they take 80%), been featured on the BBC, ABC, FOX, CBS, and NBC, and have had numerous showings around the world.

I am known generally for the unique way in which I capture and process the world around me. I have my own “take” on HDR Photography, and you can see my free HDR Tutorial right here. I grew up blind in one eye and this might have changed the way I view the world. I don’t know. It’s hard to be objective about the way one’s brain was wired. My background is in computer science and math, so I bring an algorithm-like process to capturing the scene in such a way that it evokes memories in a palpable manner. Whatever that means.

 

Trey Ratcliff at http://www.StuckInCustoms.com - all images Creative Commons Noncommercial

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Supple Cord ~ Naomi Shihab Nye

girl and brother kerekesrugonfalva ©2011 Istvan Kerekes

My brother, in his small white bed,
held one end,
I tugged the other
to signal I was still awake.
We could have spoken,
could have sung
to one another,

girl and brother holding hands kerekesrugonfalva ©2011 Isvan Kerekes

we were in the same room
for five years,
but the soft cord
with its little frayed ends
connected us
in the dark,

Girl and brother window kerekesujkepek ©2011 Istvan kerekes

gave comfort
even if we had been bickering
all day.

little one alone kerekesRugonfalva ©2011 Istvan Kerekes

When he fell asleep first
and his end of the cord
dropped to the floor,
I missed him terribly,
though I could hear
his even breath

After dinnerAfter dinner © 2011 Istvan Kerkes.

and we had such long and separate lives
ahead.

~Naomi Shihab Nye

(for rebecca with love)

 

~~

About the Photographer

Istvan Kerekes

In His Own Words

I have been a photographer since 2007. My favourite subject is The Man. I would like to show the souls behind the faces. Everyone has feelings, everybody loves and breathes. My subjects are usually ordinary people. My main aim is to show their personalities through my images. One of William Albert Allard’s thoughts on photos and photography is just like mine, I truly believe in it: “the good portrait is about the eye, the look, since the human soul is reflected in it the most purely.”When taking photos it is my heart that leads me. After I have tuned to the subject I act instinctively.

~Istvan Kerekes

Istvan’s website: http://www.kerekesistvan.hu/

*Copyrighted images are posted with kind permission of the photographer.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

somewhere I have never travelled

6632359835_f16e11ed7c_b

I Love the Girl With the Sun in Her Eyes Some rights reserved by Thomas Hawk

(Poem #619) somewhere i have never travelled

 somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

-- e e cummings

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Way In ~ (Prayer For Amy)

cry out kerekesNyari Husito 1 © 2011 Istvan Kerekes

The Way In

Sometimes the way to milk and honey is through the body.
Sometimes the way in is a song.
But there are three ways in the world: dangerous, wounding,
and beauty.
To enter stone, be water.
To rise through hard earth, be plant
desiring sunlight, believing in water.
To enter fire, be dry.
To enter life, be food.
~ Linda Hogan ~
(Rounding the Human Corners)

Linked to Postcards from Paradise at Rebecca’s Blog 

About the Photographer

Istvan Kerekes

In His Own Words

I have been a photographer since 2007. My favourite subject is The Man. I would like to show the souls behind the faces. Everyone has feelings, everybody loves and breathes. My subjects are usually ordinary people. My main aim is to show their personalities through my images. One of William Albert Allard’s thoughts on photos and photography is just like mine, I truly believe in it: “the good portrait is about the eye, the look, since the human soul is reflected in it the most purely.”When taking photos it is my heart that leads me. After I have tuned to the subject I act instinctively.

~Istvan Kerekes

Istvan’s website: http://www.kerekesistvan.hu/

*image posted with kind permission of Istvan Kerekes

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Hands of Love

 

DSC_0158-01Osszetartozunk 2 ©2011 Istvan Kerekes

Hands are Here

to Reach Out in Love

DSC_0156-02Osszetartozunk 1 ©2011 Istvan Kerekes

To Take Hold ,

in Constant Friendship,

When Support is Needed

Friendship KerekesKep ©2011 Istvan Kerekes

To Faithfully Stand By and Wait,

Cherishing Each Moment,

Quietly Listening

Kerekes57Vigyazok Rad ©2011 Istvan Kerekes

To Remember

The Many Times

When They were Held

in Love and Protection

ImaIma © 2011 Istvan Kerekes

To Pray

to the One Who is Love and Compassion

Who Knows How Deeply All Our Hearts Need Healing

We Offer All that We Have

and All that We Are in Peace

for Our Friend Joe Spado (Spadoman).

Dove Kerekes©2011 Istvan Kerekes

And Carry Our Love To Him

On the Bright Wings of Hope

and Faithful Friendship.

 

~~

Linked to Recuerda Mi Corazon Circle of Love for Spadoman.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Broken Cord

image2011©Blindman Shooting

Remember

Remember the sky that you were born under,
know each of the star's stories.
Remember the moon, know who she is. I met her
in a bar once in Iowa City.
Remember the sun's birth at dawn, that is the
strongest point of time. Remember sundown
and the giving away to night.
Remember your birth, how your mother struggled
to give you form and breath. You are evidence of
her life, and her mother's, and hers.
Remember your father. He is your life also.
Remember the earth whose skin you are:
red earth, black earth, yellow earth, white earth
brown earth, we are earth.
Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have their
tribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them,
listen to them. They are alive poems.
Remember the wind. Remember her voice. She knows the
origin of this universe. I heard her singing Kiowa war
dance songs at the corner of Fourth and Central once.
Remember that you are all people and that all people are you.
Remember that you are this universe and that this universe is you.
Remember that all is in motion, is growing, is you.
Remember that language comes from this.
Remember the dance that language is, that life is.
Remember.
~ Joy Harjo ~(from How we Become Human)

 

A Fight For Her Grandchildren Mirrors A Native Past

by NATHAN ROTT

October 25, 2011

Suzanne Crow, 58, has made and received a lot of bad telephone calls in her life, including the time she told her family that her 3-year-old son had died in a hospital because there wasn't a doctor on duty to care for him. Life in South Dakota as a displaced member of the Lakota and Dakota Sioux tribes can be tougher than most.

"It's affecting the tribes in more ways than just them being gone. It's affecting the genetic memory. Maybe those are our chiefs coming up and they're gone," she tells Michel during the interview.

But the phone call she received on a sunny May day in 2007, Crow says, is still one of the worst. A distant relative had just driven by her home in Sioux Falls, and Crow says what she heard instantly connected her past to her present, bringing the next several years of her life to a near stop.

"The cops are at Lena's house," Crow said the relative told her. "I think they're taking your grandchildren."

Brianna was 6-years-old. Her younger brother was 5.

Their mother had left a cousin in charge, but Lena was late coming home. Their father, who was an illegal immigrant, was caught and deported years earlier. So when police found the children in the front yard after their cousin left, there was nobody to take care of them.

The children, however, had a plan for situations like this. If they were ever left alone or if someone was drinking at home, they were always instructed to go across the street, to their grandma's. If she wasn't there, the back door would be left unlocked.

But on that May day, Crow wasn't home and the back door was bolted shut.

A Disproportionate Population

In South Dakota, where American Indians make up less than 15 percent of the state's child population, 60 percent of the state's foster care population is American Indian children.

Suzanne Crow's story is part of an NPR News investigation. Read more about the series here.

Derrin Yellow Robe, 3, stands in his great-grandparents' backyard on the Crow Creek Reservation in South Dakota. Along with his twin sister and two older sisters, he was taken off the reservation by South Dakota's Department of Social Services in July 2009 and spent a year and a half in foster care before being returned to his family.

Native Foster Care: Lost Children, Shattered Families

Nearly 700 Native American children in South Dakota are removed from their homes every year.

It's a number that Crow is familiar with and a number that always struck her as ironic.

For more than a century, a similar number of American Indian children were removed from their homes, families and cultures and placed in boarding schools. It was part of the U.S. government's assimilation policy. She had been sent away when she was 5-years-old. Her mother couldn't afford to provide for her or her sister. So, she enrolled them at Saint Paul's Indian Mission, an Indian boarding school on the Yankton Sioux Reservation in Marty, S.D., built in the 1920s during the middle of the U.S. government's assimilation policy years.

"There is a very strong history in this country of removing Indian kids from their homes," says Brenda Child, who chairs the University of Minnesota's American Indian Studies program. Her grandfather was a student at the first off-reservation boarding school, Carlisle Indian Industrial School.

But by 1958, when Crow started school there, "assimilation as a policy had ended," Child says. Yet its legacy remained and Crow's story, Child says, is one that's familiar.

American Indian parents who lost their children forgot how to be parents and their children were no longer being raised with parents to learn those skills from. Crow still remembers her first day, walking into a long room filled with white dresses. It was a little girl's dream, she says, until she turned around.

Her mom was gone. "I cried for three days," she says.

Rules To Be Followed

It took Crow just over two hours to return to Sioux Falls the day her grandchildren were removed from their home. But it was too late.

When Crow arrived home, her grandchildren had already been taken to Children's Inn, an emergency shelter and foster home in Sioux Falls. Crow drove straight there, she says, and asked to take her grandchildren home.

"It's not that easy," says Children's Inn's Director Amy Carter. Carter didn't tell Crow no herself, she's only been director for three years and wasn't familiar with Crow's case, but she's seen similar stories. "That situation is more common than you'd like to think," she says.

Because of that, there's a system of rules that has to be followed.

"It's a complex system, but it's made that way to ensure the safety of the children," Carter says.

By the time children reach her organization, they're already under the custody of the state and the state's Division of Child Protection Services (DCPS) calls the shots. Children's Inn is just the starting point to a long process.

"I can understand why people get frustrated with it," Carter says, "and I won't deny it can be frustrating. But that's the system we're working in."

Process Harkens Back To Boarding School Days

Life at Saint Paul's was full of processes. There were routines and rules that were strictly enforced, Crow recalls

American Indian Boarding Schools Haunt Many

The government-run boarding schools required students to talk and dress as mainstream Americans.

thumbnail

American Indian School a Far Cry from the Past

Much has changed since the days when off-reservation schools were used to expel Indian culture.

No speaking in the native Lakota language, no gathering in groups larger than two, no talking back.

"At one time they had 500 children here," says David Tickerhoof, a current pastor at Saint Paul's Church. "There had to be a pretty stringent discipline system."

The school is now tribally run and Tickerhoof has only been at the neighboring church for 14 years, so he can't speak to specifics of the school's past. But from talking with former teachers and students, he understands the history of the school and its surrounding community.

"It was like the inner-city in a rural setting," he says.

Crow said she recognizes some positive things about the school. Since her mother couldn't provide for her, at least at Saint Paul's, she was fed, sheltered and educated.

But there were bad parts: Haircuts, and punishments, Crow says, for speaking in her native Lakota tongue.

"The goal wasn't to make them non-Indian," Tickerhoof says, "The effort was to really help them stand as an equal in the job environment and to do that they had to be able to communicate in the dominant society."

He continues: "I'm not going to say negative things didn't happen here, that's idealistic and naive. But I think it was hard on everybody."

To cope, Crow says, they prayed.

"We'd get up and pray at our bed, then go to church and pray, then to breakfast and pray, then to school and pray, and then lunch and pray — always praying," Crow says. "I remember praying for John Kennedy when he was shot."

But most times she prayed for something else. She says she "prayed and prayed and prayed," for her grandmother to come and get her, to find her and take her away. For 12 years she prayed.

It never happened.

"Have you ever prayed and prayed and prayed for something and then it never happened?" she asks. It still haunts her.

A Prayerful Fight

More than 50 years later, Crow began the battle to get her grandchildren back by praying.

Suzanne Crow looks through a family photo album at her home in Sioux Falls, S.D., and comes across an old newspaper clipping of Sitting Bull, a Hunkpapa Lakota like herself.

John Poole/NPR

Suzanne Crow looks through a family photo album at her home in Sioux Falls, S.D., and comes across an old newspaper clipping of Sitting Bull, a Hunkpapa Lakota like herself.

"I prayed for whatever judges were involved, whatever social service people are involved — whoever's in my path I wanted to pray for them too," she says. "So I did."

For the first months she prayed that the children would be returned to their mother. Crow offered her help, went to court proceedings and took notes, but the bulk of the work she left to her daughter, Lena.

"They tried to turn her into a professional hoop dancer, jumping through all their hoops." But the children were never released.

Within a week of being taken from their mother's, they were placed in a white foster home in Sioux Falls. After about six months, Lena gave up hope, Crow says. There were too many strikes against her, so Crow says Lena attempted suicide. That attempt, though failed, killed her chances of getting her children back, Crow says. She was no longer deemed psychologically competent to be a parent.

"So that's when I filed for adoption," Crow says, "they couldn't throw any of that guilt in my face."

Crow had a house, a salaried job as a seamstress at David's Bridal and no criminal history. The problem was, she had to convince the state of the same thing and that's hard for any grandparent to do, says B.J. Jones, an attorney and judge for various tribal justice systems in the Dakotas and Minnesota.

"The state court system is so hard for grandparents to crack and sometimes it's hard to really identify what the reasons are," Jones says.

The result, he says, is this: "We have the government being the grandparents and the government doesn't have a good track record of taking care of Indian kids. Historically that's been disastrous. It's been a nightmare."

The state's department of social services says it's not trying to usurp family ties.

"We come from a stance of safety," says Virgena Wiesler, the division's director. "That's our overarching goal with all children. If they can be returned to their parent or returned to a relative and that safety can be managed, then that's our goal."

In interviews with NPR, Wiesler and the state's DCPS said they would not speak about individual cases like Crow's.

All those years — those 12 years in boarding school — not once did I get to be who I was supposed to be. Not once did I get to speak Lakota and see my grandma. They took our genetic thinking and turned it inside out. And then who are you?

- Suzanne Crow

Jones wouldn't either, but he did say that in his opinion, the limited access and rights of extended family like grandparents is the biggest problem with current law.

"I've seen a lot of cases where the grandparents would be eligible," he says, "but they've got to background you, they've got to license you and this, this, this, and that, that, that."

That's what Crow experienced.

"They tried to turn me into a fancy dancer too," she says.

She went through the steps, met with case workers, registered for and completed foster parenting classes for both the state and the tribe. She became a licensed foster parent and still, the kids remained in foster care for three years.

They were being taken care of, she says, just like she was in boarding school, but she was worried about them being raised in another culture.

"All those years — those 12 years in boarding school," she says, "Not once did I get to be who I was supposed to be. Not once did I get to speak Lakota and see my grandma. They took our genetic thinking and turned it inside out. And then who are you?"

A Return To Family 

The state eventually released Crows's grandchildren, now ages 10 and 11, from foster care, giving custody to their stepfather, who also cares for two of Lena's other children in Pipestone, Minn.

Crow says she believes she should have custody of her grandchildren.

She sees them as often as she can. She talks to them on the phone and messages them on Facebook. Earlier this year, she saw her grandson play in a soccer tournament and braided Brianna's hair before a family member's high school graduation ceremony.

She talks to them in Lakota when they'll listen, trying to instill bits of their native culture whenever she can. It's her duty as a grandmother, she says, to help give them an identity — to fight for their future because of her past.

"I think their culture is what's going to save them," she says, "It's what saved me."

 

About the Photographer:

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I have come to realize that my art has diversity with powerful individual vision, that chronicles the life of individuals. People draw me into their lives to tell their story to anyone willing to listen and validate their reason for living. My attraction to story telling grew as my life developed behind a camera. I discovered that its not how a photographer looks at the world that is important, its their relationship with their fellow human beings and these moments of connectivity that are frozen in time for all to see.
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